In This Moment
by loveless-romantics
Summary: Hermione's thoughts about her relationship with Ron during one moment. Loosely based off my own experience. *One-shot*


My first fic on here!! This is something that's been in my head for a little while. Mostly based off a true story.

Disclaimer: Not mine, but I wish it was. I especially wish Ron was mine

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How many times have I been standing mere inches from you, my face turned toward you, bent down slightly as to hear you better? Our shoulders touch, my hand brushes your leg, yours does the same to me.

All I have to do is move my hand slightly and my lips will be on yours. I long to do that, to break down the wall we've built between us in the past seven years, but I can't.

It's almost as if you mean too much to me, so much I'm scared. Scared to move forward into some uncharted land, scared to be forced back to when I didn't talk to you every day, and didn't get butterflies when I did. I'm scared to stay the same for fear one day I'll lose it, do something completely unexpected, and you'll leave me.

I don't know how much longer I can take this, both of us dancing around our feelings. It's a dance we seemed to master a long time ago. Because the thing is, I'm almost certain you feel the same way. I hope with all my might that you do.

I can't stand to be away from you, but I can't stand to be with you either, not if being with you means staying like this. I doubt I could ever leave you after all that's happened, all that we've gone through together. From our stupid fights to our inside jokes, from me not being able to stand you to me not being able to spend a day without you crossing my mind, to the big things, the things that only the two of us can understand, like what it's really like to stand behind Harry in the face of battle.

I don't know when exactly it hit me, but when I did it nearly knocked me out. I should have figured it out before, but somehow I didn't. I was probably too sacred. Everything has always been so logical to me, until now. I had pushed the feeling to the back of my mind for so long. But now, I can't ignore it, the feelings gotten too strong to ignore. I finally realized it; I am in love with you.

Others can see it, they've told me so. At first I didn't believe it, thought they were crazy. I said, "We always act like that, so what? He's one my best friends." But then something hit me, you weren't just another best friend. I didn't feel anything like this when I stood around Harry. There was something different about you, something different about us.

This has never happened to me before. I was always the girl who wasn't obsessed with guys. Sure there was Krum, but that was different. He was the first guy who ever really paid attention to me besides you and Harry. I got swept up in the moment; and older, famous Quidditch player actually liked me. I just wasn't ready for it. Apparently you weren't either.

I think that was the wake up call both of us needed. We both realized something that year, especially that night at the Yule Ball. I know that's when I first really thought of you as something more than one of my best friends, the brother I never had. I realized that night that as much as you drive me crazy, as much as we fight, nothing could ever come between us. Because in the midst of that fight, we made something known: we both felt something for the other.

At fourteen, who knows how much we understood what was going on. I know I sure didn't. All I knew was that even as I danced with Krum, even as he kissed me, my first kiss, I thought of you, thought of what you would do if you saw us, wondered if you were having fun, wanted to know that you were happy.

Now I stand here almost three years later and even after all that's happened around us, nothing has changed.

We know what each other's thinking with one look, can finish each others' sentences, and can't stand to be apart for more than a few hours. But for now, that's all we'll be, best friends who are crazy about each other, but too crazy to leave the safeness of familiarity.

So now, as I stand intertwined with you, as you make me laugh for the millionth time tonight, and I stare into your brilliant eyes, I keep my distance. I force myself not to close the tiny gap separating us.

For now, nothing will change. But one day, and God I hope it's soon, I will get enough courage to spill my guts, let you into every corner of my heart, and close the space between us. All this by saying the three words that have been stuck on my tongue for so long. Three words and everything will change, hopefully for the better.

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Thanks for reading. Rate/Message and I will love you forever!


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